About My Blog

You may notice that I am not concise. I have a page "about my blog" on my blog. I've never been one to keep things short.

Regarding my blog, I decided to keep Lyme out of the title because I think this is really more about a journey, transformation, and huge life change rather than just a disease. To call it something just to do with Lyme would minimize the significance and incredibly terrifying and also positively transformational effects the last 4-6 years of my life have had on me because of this disease.

Also in my blog, I have decided to go TMI. Too Much Information. You know the kind that can make some people uncomfortable in the way you feel when you see Ben Stiller in a movie.

Some people are comfortable with this; others are not. This I have learned through years of sharing my often horrific physical and emotional experiences with friends and family. Some people gasp or roll their eyes or run to the other room completely horrified by what I tell them; others just sit with me or laugh. But I have lost the ability or desire to filter my inner thoughts. In fact, I didn't have much of an inner filter before I got sick. And I am grateful for this, because this disease is an epidemic that ruins lives and it needs to be told without concern for comfort level in order to create a movement of change.

My only interest in keeping this experience private would be because I am a human rights attorney and would like to one day use my degree again to fight injustice in this world, and well, unfortunately, I think future clients may one day be freaked out by some of the stuff I write in here and say, "that's my lawyer!?!??" I hope they will understand that this experience, though traumatic in so many ways, will give me a gift of literally fresh new eyes through which I will the world (and already do see it) and the degree of compassion, energy, and devotion I will carry into my work will be better because of my experience through this long disease process.

Other than that, I am an open book. I am not someone who is embarrassed sharing any of my feelings or thoughts; in fact, most of my friends know I am quite outspoken on that and definitely TMI. But, in order to expose the secret of this epidemic disease (and it is a huge secret, explained in the "Great Lyme Controversy" page) and reveal how incredible devastating this disease is, I MUST reveal the horrible things that I and others have experienced, even if a bit well, unflattering and not so pretty.

I know a lot of people who are not comfortable revealing their really horrifying moments with Lyme to even their close friends, and certainly not on an Internet-accessible blog. So I'm glad I was naturally endowed with the inability to filter or worry what others think and I can bring attention to this extremely disabling and misunderstood disease.

And I must add that keeping my friends in the loop with excessively long and revealing email descriptions/conversations about what actually happens to me through this torturous but 'invisible' disease has allowed me to feel comfortable accepting help from them (which by the way has been incredibly generous). My friends have been amazingly receptive and supportive to everything I have told them. They have taken care of me like family.

For this disease to get the recognition it deserves and the attention it needs so people can be PROPERLY diagnosed and PROPERLY treated and so the medical community and insurance companies can support rather than blasphemize (yes, I made up that word) patients like me, it is my moral and ethical DUTY to go all TMI in this blog. There is no shame in exposing what really happens to you when a little tiny tick transmits this disease to your body and it goes unchecked for years. I will not lie, the shit that happens to you from the disease and the treatment is SCREWED up. I have never even read of a disease like it and never imagined one so inhumane could exist. One doctor even wrote an article called, "Lyme: an Inhumane Disease of the Brain."

Also, another word of caution. I drop a lot of f-bombs in my blog. It helps me express my emotions. I must admit I drop more than average expletives, but find it has been a part of my cathartic release of excruciating physical and emotional pain. In fact, uttering expletives when in pain is a sensible policy, according to this research study: "Swearing helps to reduce pain." Permission to swear, I love it!

If you don't like it, please just insert another emotionally appropriate word.

Also, please comment on my blog, as I am curious to know what you think or what other QUESTIONS you might have. People ask me things all the time, that I wouldn't even think of, like "does your picc line hurt?" so feel free to ask me. I'm pretty honest and comfortable with sharing my story, so there is a good chance I will give you an answer.

So, if people are uncomfortable with my TMI, I make no apologies. It is who I am and the story needs to be told.

With love,