Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Remembering Possibility

Hi all,

Apologies for being out of touch for so long. I have been meaning to write about my new life as a Lyme-free Mona since January when I found out my tests were negative that month. Of course, we all know Lyme is a difficult battle, with not always reliable tests to tell us when the disease is gone. Though I felt better than I had in 6 years and had negative tests, I wasn't out of the woods. We all know Lyme is a disease unlike any other disease we've come across. It makes no sense, affects ALL systems of the body (including your mind), and is different for each patient.

Though I wanted to write excitedly about my amazing progress at the end of last year and beginning of 2012, I unfortunately have hit a dark patch again. Numerous factors contributing to this: a parasite cleanse, a kidney infection, overexertion, emotional stress, throwing out my back. But in reality we (my doctors/naturopaths/healers, you know that team that we all have that costs us every cent in our bank account but is the only thing keeping us going) think I may have a relapse of either Lyme or Bartonella. Toxicity is present for sure, and as soon as I come down from this rollercoaster ride, I plan to write a DETAILED post about everything I did to get over this disease. I also plan to write informational guides for Lyme patients, advocate for legislative changes for Lyme patients, but the universe isn't letting me get to that part as fast as I'd like. So I am trying to be patient. I had my big emotional breakdown a week or so ago, crying, panic attacks, wondering how it was possible after 6 years of being sick (but only 4 years of treatment), this disease still has a hold on me.

Well, I realized I think too much. I try to figure out HOW to get from point A (not well) to point B (150% healthy). I realize I have no idea how I got from Point B (healthy) to Point A (completely disabled). So as much as I want all the answers and someone to tell me what is happening every step of the way, Lyme doesn't provide that type of certainty.

But I do remember that no matter what, in wanting all the answers, sometimes I believe it's important for us to just remember the POSSIBILITIES of healing. What the mind believes, the body achieves. I truly believe the reason I healed myself (current setback excluded) was because of this belief. I had quotes (at least 50) plastered all OVER my bedroom for years. I repeated affirmations. I made vision boards. I visualized my body getting better. I still do. Keep believing. That belief transforms into REALITY. It may take months, years, decades, but this belief CAN bring you healing. Believe that you will be better. No matter what ANYone else (patient, doctor, person) tells you. Mind over matter has truth - I have lived it.

I was just at my LLND's office a month ago and he was telling me something I read in a book recently as we looked at my blood under a dark field microscope. If doctors were to take my blood (or anyone's for that matter) and put it under a microscope, and subsequently stress my body (even a mile away from the office where that sample of blood was sitting), the blood (that is now a mile away from my body and under a microscope in the doc's office) would RESPOND negatively to the stress, the SAME WAY the blood cells in my BODY respond! That is, the blood cells would still feel the stress even when OUTSIDE of my body. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

There is clearly a connection from the body to cells that is above and beyond what science can explain. Some higher power, consciousness, energy, whatever you will call it, is present in the ability of our cells to know stress. Consequently, our cells must have the ability to know healing on this level. There are things that affect our body that science cannot explain!

Keep believing in yourself. I promise you can get there. I look forward to getting back to healthy so I can share with you what I did to get there. For now, back to dealing with toxicity and possible slight relapses with Lyme or Bart. All hope is not lost. It is the final cleanup, the storm before the calm.

Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream.

-- Paulo Coelho

One of my favorite TED talks that I haven't seen in a while. I am sure many of you have seen it but it is a reminder that ANYTHING is possible and we CAN heal ourselves. It is WITHIN ourselves to heal. http://www.ted.com/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html

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